Saturday, August 6, 2011


The burn of every scarring thought still lingers behind my eyes. 

  ~Combustion of chemicals creating a violent and devouring oxidation of heat and light. That is how the dictionary defines the life of fire.

I am consumed by the everyday patterns of life.  I feel as though it surrounds me from the feet up as soon as I stand in the morning. Then as my interpretations of the current situations grow, so does the kindle beneath me. Like flames, we can't understand the path that life decides to take.  We try to contain it though, put it in a nice and controlled area of security.  Even if you set your fire in a pit, what will hold it from sparking away to the air and lighting one single leaf of a thicket into an irreversible destruction?

My days have been growing heavy these past few weeks.  One thing after another, I keep on getting my feet swept out from under me by milliseconds of a moment.  I know that my actions cause the repercussions which bring me to my knees as I close my eyes at night but what could ever bring these wild thoughts down to a tame constructive idea?
   Then I was struck by something...

       Late one evening after many failed attempts of falling asleep, I stepped outside to get away for a bit. I climbed in my car and drove down to a trail and parked beside the road. Instead of walking towards the trail, I turned and walked the opposite direction to the town's old bridge that is currently being remodeled.  I climbed up the side of the little hill and sat, letting my feet dangle over the bridge that was over-looking the river. I pulled my hood up to block the wind and shoved my hands in my jacket pocket just to find that there was a pack of small cigars waiting for me in there.
       I placed the cigar between my lips and let it rest on the outside of my teeth as I reached for my lucky lighter that I carry everywhere I go. I pulled the Zippo to my face and cupped around it with my left hand to block the wind. The flame was bright in this over cast setting of a night and it danced beneath the tip of my cigar, just tempting it to catch and burn.  I breathed in and watch the flame follow my lead but just as the cigar burst into red, the wind picked up and knocked my hood off my head. In my tired state, I fumbled to catch my hood and in turn, lost grip of my lighter. I scrambled in horror to catch my newly freed lighter and then cursed at the sight of it passing through my fingers and sail straight towards the rushing river.
      I leaped  down the side of the bridge and crawled towards the water in hopes that my favorite lighter would be in sight.  To my absolute amazement, I saw a dancing light above the water.  My lighter had landed on a rock that was only but three inches out of the water. I hopped from stone to stone and got closer to my friend, my feet slipping in along the way dousing my Chucks and sucking the opening of my pants to my calf.
     I finally reached it. The lighter was still lit! After what would have been at least 3 to 4 minutes of chasing after, that good ol' lighter was resting on the rock just dancing away.  I got closer and was about to pick it up when something else caught my eye.  There was something on the rock, or rather in. There was an engraving etched into the rock.  "T+S=Forever"
     Simple as that. I had run across a love rock. There was a story resting in my hand and I may never know but I held one piece that will remain forever.

    This brought me to the thought that, fire it'self burns and destroys. With that unseen chaos of our lives, we are set on fire by passions of  love, hate, confusion, and amazement (better known as the heat of the moment) we tend to forget the light that shines from these situations.  Fire is bright. We can learn from how we are burned.

In these times of trials, I will not lose sight of what is around me.

As I burn, I will see.